Thursday, December 21, 2006

movin' on up

i finally got off my lazy ass and began working on my site. the first little do-dad i started on is my blog. you can find it here. everything's still in the early stages, so bear with me. sooner or later most of my bullshit will be pretty much dedicated to the new site, but for now i might actually update this every once and awhile just for kicks.


you silly goose.
-bigal

Monday, December 18, 2006

fuck.

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.






I'm wishing the bath water clean
She hides in the back and is unseen
I take off the mask that surrounds me
Look me in the face
What do you see
I feel like a boy the age of 13
My body grows up
But my mind stays the same
Look me in the face
What do you see?

How do you tell an angel
That you don't believe in God?
Why do I feel
Like such a stranger
I look around
I look around
And all my friends are gone

But oh would you be me?
Because I would be you
Oh you'd be happy
Only if you wanted to
And how would you treat me?
Because I would treat you
Oh you'd be happy
Only if you wanted to

How do you tell your Father,
That you want him to notice you?
Why does this seem like such a bother?
When mom says you'd be better off dead
But I want to see you
I still want to see you
Oh would you call me?
Oh it's not hard too
I'm the first one
On your birthday
And oh would you write me
On my birthday
Graduation, was yesterday
Yesterday
Oh...

How do you hold the special victim?
When they push you away
When they've been
Raped on the inside
Torn on the outside
The dirt and ugly from the stain that they try to hide
Touched in private places
Embarassed faces
To scared to ask for help

Oh would you be me?
Because I would be you
Oh you'd be happy
Only if you wanted to
And how would you treat me?
Because I would treat you
You'd be happy
Only if you wanted to

I'm wishing the bath water clean
She hides in the back and is unseen
I take off the mask that surrounds me
Look me in the face
What do you see?

Blue October







fuck.
-bigal

Saturday, November 11, 2006

a change...will do you good...

this is just a short little reminder/borderline obnoxious post asking you to tell me what you think of my blog re-vamp. it's really in its early stages. but i am really just using what i get done here as buliding blocks to get fourstardrug.net up, running, and ready to frighten children. whoo-hoo! now where'd my goddamned 23 flavors disappear to....awww no...that's it! get out the cellar, sancho! you're down to to chances, hombre: either give me back my delicious dr. pepper concoction, 23 man-made flavors which your simpleton pallatte could'nt ever embrace, or hand over the goddamned magic beans!!! i'm tired of your lies! give daddy the magic beans so i can climb to the heavens and kick it with the ole' g-man and da'jesus, where we can use the godly magnifying glass to burn sinners on their proverbial anthills and watch monday night football. maybe even a season or two of entourage, who knows? wait, sancho....where.....sacho? you slipperly little bastarad!!! AAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH. I WANT MY BEANS OF THE MAGIC JUMPIN MOTHAFUCKIN VARIETY!!!! shit. wow. i think i might need a xanax. or 12.


i'm building an airport....only at the home depot!
-bigal

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

finally, a new blog entry!

haha...i got you good you fucker.




i'm such a meanie
-bigal

Tuesday, September 5, 2006

philanthropy: one of my many hobbies that start with p

this is just for you special people out there, you know who you are.

if any of you are curious as to where i get my music, wonder no more. i get it the old fashioned way: host it myself. if you want to check out what i've got online right now (i add to it whenever something strikes my fancy) click here. i also host videos that i either edit, create, or just find of interest. currently, the only file i have uploaded is nine inch nails' unreleased and uberdisturbing video for the ep broken (update: added a few of my class projects for the hell of it). i uploaded this video because it is not exactly easy to get your hands on, and the quality of the original file is horrid. i've cleaned up the audio and video considerably, although investing more time into it could help it out even further. you can check out the videos here. (some disturbing and graphic content)

small side note: if you wish to link to or distribute these addresses or files, please ASK me first. i do have to pay for the bandwidth, so leeching is not appreciated. it's not hard to find out where referrals are coming from, and i will stop all public access if this becomes a problem.

also, if anyone is interested in an email account through fourstardrug.net, i have many available, so just let me know.

thats all for now kids!
-bigal

Sunday, September 3, 2006

mustang sally was a filthy whore (and other observations)

for the longest time, i could swear i didn't exist. my reason, you say? well, random social comparisons of course! just in case you aren't familiar with my own made up terminology, random social comparison (r.s.c. is the preferred acronym among professionals, such as myself) is when a person, upon meeting someone else (ideally in a social situation, although i'm not really sure how else communication would be possible. but i gotta cover my bases. it's a legal thing.), and their first instinct is to blatantly explain to you how you are apparently the exact replica of someone else that only they (and their friends, of course) are so inclined to know. now, in normal conversation there is nothing wrong with telling someone how you remind him or her of someone else (i.e. carrot top, their mother, tom, fatty arbuckle, jesus) so long as that person can consider it somewhat complementary. but when you come up with overblown ideas in your little fragile mind as to the identity of my doppelganger, make sure you've got some sort of foundation to stand on. i'm talking evidence (as in photographs, voice recordings, fingerprints, hair strands, urine sample, blood tests, a big toe, etc) and bonafide witnesses. i'm not talking about your drunk friend who smells of busch light and self-loathing, but an expert witness. a professional (like me!), if you will. they need to be an expert in the fields of drunken logic, calculus, and womens golf; most importantly though, is an intense background in the study of people who are somewhat similar in stature and/or appearance to me. (fuck personality similarities, though. if you're friends with someone as shallow and petty as myself then i pity you.) i know this type of studied individual does not sound like an easy find, nor a cheap one. and believe me, they are not. but i can help. i just so happen to be an accredited expert in the above fields (surprise!) and i am willing to offer my services for a small fee of only $156,045 (and some change). for this, i will extract the necessary information from my sources (i.e. you), and then use said information to find the location of my accused body-double. if this person is indeed too similar for my liking, i will be forced to yell and stomp around for a bit, and quite possibly kick their dog/cat/little sister. this is to show you that i mean business. oh, and then i'd have to kill him. (it's a scientific thing; something about the space-time continuum being destroyed, i can't remember exactly. it's been awhile since i saw back to the future.) now, if you don't want any of this to happen to your precious alec-a-like, here is the simple solution: don't bring it up in the first place. i don't want to hear about how i remind you of some old douche-bag friend of yours, and i'm sure that same douche-bag would agree wholeheartedly for the reverse. but hey, guess what? i would love to keep on ranting, but i gotta go catch up on some womens golf.



i am a professional, you know.
-bigal

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

note to self

This is my first time back in myspace world for awhile; most likely due to the fact that I'm in York for a few days and bored out of my skull. Besides that, I really haven't got much else to say. Hopefully some of my previous posts have been more interesting. If you're new to the random stupidity that is my blogsphere, I'm just going to apologize in advance. I promise that all the insipid rants and musings are my personal (albeit shitty) attempts at satire, so please take them as such. I may come off as obnoxious, overzealous, misogynistic, nihilistic, misanthropic, megalomaniacal or quite possibly even supercalafragulistic; but I really am a nice guy in my heart. Wherever that may be.


-bigal

Saturday, May 13, 2006

support the chinese and buy magnetic ribbons

video link: http://www.youtube.com/v/1G470rfJQCI


fox news takes the "support the troops" offense, while debasing baptists. because jesus (sorry, heavenly guy), these things are only reported by fox news. the "fair and balanced"/extremist right wing "news" station. rupurt murdoch controls every story that even has a chance of being aired, and the only ones that are somewhat bi-partisian controversial are those dealing with some person or group that hates the troops. and they always seem to end up on a show such as hannity and colmes, to be berated and humiliated. not because they think they will get a point across, but because they obviously have some other agenda. who would allow themselves to be interviewed by someone who will call them out for the obvious and have absolutely no agreements with them? paid correspondants. did you ever see the hannity and colmes (or maybe it was o'reilly. or tucker. or possibly ann coulter as a guest? [btw: why the hell hasn't fox gave her a show yet? i guess even they have their limits] fuck it though, they're all the same) "interview" with the guy whose website's message was simply "fuck the troops?" this guy had no rhyme, no reason, no argument, nothing. he apparently just hated the troops (like clinton, eh? *sad, sad smile. mmm...surplus*). but yet, he was knowledgable enough to go forth with and accept an interview with fox news. but apparently no other major news outlet knew of this guy. it must be because fox news doesn't have an extremist right-wing bias. it's all about "fair and balanced." shit, apparently the minority (don't worry, GOP. i'm not talking about mexicans) are the only ones watching either CNN, MSNBC, or ESPN. so that pretty much is where fox is trying to pull the educated population from. just say "troops" or "9/11," and the empathetic members of the population (empathy for others? isn't that like... SOCIALISM?? ha ha, joking. that's just for pinkos and the chinese) shed a tear. regardless the topic, basis, or even without such simple things as facts and sources; the mention of those key words draws an emotional reaction. and anyone with a political agenda knows how to play off that. back to this protest, this woman. for one, what was the whole "god hates fags" thing about? is that why soldiers are dying? because of gay people? fuck! better put them fags on an island then! i know Falwell's happy they can't adopt kids there. it would be like the garden of eden. except that apple is only gonna be eaten by adams. still, i just love how this woman maintains total composure; all while being insulted by hannity (and even colmes, for gods sake. i'd fucking kill myself for taking shit from him). for someone who is such an extremist, she sure is a pussy. but the baptist part. hannity does say about 1/2 to 3/4 through the interview that this church is a "seperate" denomination of the baptist church. but still, who are the MAJORITY of baptists? them good 'ole black people. no matter what, you say "hate troops" and "baptist" together on fox news, every hardcore right-winger and trailer-trash shithead is just getting an excuse for their hatred and ignorant racism. fuck, fox news already made hurricane katrina black america's fault (i mean, even the mayor was black. and black people looted. white people scavenged. and that one guy stole a bunch of heiniken. that was the moment americans knew they had to take a stand. a stand against an area sitting on death's bed, on the failure of the govenment that was supposed to help them. but those fucking niggers stole doritos from a wal-mart. how could they be so ungrateful after we let them live in the superdome?). back to the somewhat unargumentitive part. fox news wants to push GOP agendas, yet has to appeal to moderates and democrats due to the large disapproval in bush and his administration/war/budget/lies/monetary interests/general idiocy. so, why not take some "random" occurance in iowa (gee..funny how they brought up iowa's democratic primary election in the story. considering iowa is considered the home plate for the national democratic primary decision, that sure is one strange little interjection...). i would put money on this being just another publicity stunt, paid for by our good friend murdoch. don't believe me? how the hell could all these "fuck the troops," "fuck 9/11," or, "fuck anything that would piss off the general population" get interviews exclusively with them (fox news, for those with the mtv attention span)? the one network who's audience will automatically hate whatever they tell them to? whose hosts will insult and berate you? a place where you couldn't get your "agenda" or "message" across in any way possible? i mean, shit. what "we hate what other idiots hate, but for some unknown reason we hate american troops, too" group thinks fox news viewers are going to actually agree with them? yes, i'm sure they'd see the "God Hates Fags" sign, mutter "damn right," and take a sip of budweiser. but if that sign said "Troops Are Fags" though, different story. these people would be burning down every church that wasn't catholic (just kidding! the kkk hates catholics). then they go to iowa, and wave a posterboard on a freeway that says "God Hates Fags." which isn't anything new, except this time they said "troops" and were next to a military funeral. that is the clincher on the argument. I mean, who couldn't agree with a woman that hates american troops and 9/11? and apparently thinks that those people deserved everything they got? the fag thing though...hmmm.... doesn't really get brought up in the interview. just in videotaped signs, and about maybe 8 seconds of voice airtime. wow. they sure showed those signs a lot for it being such an insignificant topic. and for someone being interviewed, that woman didn't seem to care much about the "fag" aspect either. she just liked talking about how troops and the people that died because of 9/11 deserved it. no explanation why. they just apparently did. it wasn't because of gays, the theory of evolution, or the da vinci code. but do you want to know the truth of the matter? without all of those american deaths, how could fox afford to pay the actors protesting fictional causes in iowa?


hey, that's capitalism bud. gotta make money somehow.

-Alec

(ps: if you can find this story on any other major news network (i.e. CNN, MSNBC, ABC, NBC, CBS, PBS, or even The Onion; send me the link. If not, go google "steven colbert white house correspondents dinner." it's the best laugh/kick in the nuts that was so desperately needed speech I have ever seen. i guess that's why Time just named him one of the Top 5 most influental people in the country. But hey, it's the fucking liberal media. We all know about their communist bias.)

original post:


----------------- Bulletin Message -----------------
From: Tom
Date: May 13, 2006 1:27 AM

Very very disturbing.

http://www.youtube.com/v/1G470rfJQCI
These people make me sick.
OUR TROOPS DONT NEED THIS AND DONT DESERVE IT.

SUPPORT AMERICA OR GET OUT! I just don't get it...If you do not like it here then leave. If you think we are all horrible people then leave. If you don't like our immigration policy then leave. If you don't want to pay taxes then leave. Do you get the picture?

LET'S START WRITING THEM LETTERS.....LOL!!!!!!
Thanks to the internet and some resourcefulness here is her address and phone numbers...

Brent and Shirley Roper
3640 SW Churchill Rd
Topeka, KS 66604
785-273-7262
785-273-0277
785-273-1080

To re-post hit "Reply" then copy the information and re-post in your own bulletin

Thursday, May 11, 2006

i love puppies and kitties

Stand.
Alone.
Myself.
Your fault.
I cope.
No.
You?
Me?
The same?
One of you?
All of you?
The actions?
The reactions?
Lies.
Fucking.
Lies.
Heart.
Racing.
Must.
Maintain.
Sense.
Hope.
Fear.
Hate.
Doubt.
Belief?
Faith?
Conviction?
Justification?
Maybe.
Play.
The game.
The tones.
Thebullshit.
I fall.
A trap.
Every time.
I'm sure.
My fault.
Understand.
Shallow.
You.
Me.
The waters.
Tide comes in.
No matter.
Pull me under.
Stand here.
Disappointed.
Again.
Shit.
Things.
Real.
You. You're fault.
You.
The same.
You.
One.
You.
The actions.
The reactions.
Blind.
Hope.
Who cares?
Humanity.
Maybe.
Fuck.
Play.
The game.
The tones.
The same.
Fuck.
Bullshit.
Fall.
Trapped.
Every time.
Never fails.
Yes.
My fault.
The waters.
Teased.
Leave me.
Nothing.
Faithless.
Residual.
Binded.
Fucked.
Make.
Me.
Imagine.
Him.
Friends.
You.
Malice.
Motive?
Answers?
Tell it?
It is.
Or was.
Weakness.
Signs.
Pointing.
Position.
Myself.
Want to.
Have to.
Fate?
Circumstance?
Trust? You?
Me?
Have to?
Optionless.
Think.
Grind.
Layers.
Scraping.
Enamel.
Want to.
Need to.
Love to.
No.
Can't.
Restrain.
Wish.
Pray.
Abstain.
Feel.
Human.
Seconds.
The world.
Important.
Necessary.
Questions.
Disproved.
Explained.
Time.
It comes.
The day. Fear.
Humanity.
Facades.
Here.
Wondering.
Anger?
Maybe so.
No matter.
Curiosity.
Make it better.
Not your fault.
Mine.
Me.
Games.
Fall in line.
Just couldn't.
Not wanted.
Nice guy.
Sweet.
Sincere.
Honest.
Romantic.
Treacherous.
Deceitful.
Dishonest.
Selfish.
Egotistical.
Maniacal.
Righteous.
Imaginary.
Still.
Expect.
Belief.
Change.
New person.
Overnight.
You.
Not a child.
The hints.
Easier.
Put it out.
Open up.
Easy answers.
Just. Think.
Astound?
Denounce?
Invigorate?
Denunciate?
Empower?
Impeach?
Pass.
Save it.
Another day.
Hate.
Facts.
Force.
Dig.
History.
Try.
Explain.
Things are.
They are.
Try.
My fault.
Maybe.
Probably.
Right now.
Relief.
Possible?
Logical?
Burning.
Quietly.
Intent.
Change.
Accept it.
Share it.
Refute it.
Make life.
Take plight.
Want.
No.
Hide.
Wish.
Could.
Should.
Can't.
Won't.
Repeat.



Alas, poor Yorick!
I knew him, Horatio;
A fellow of infinite jest,
Of most excellent fancy.





-bigal

Monday, April 24, 2006

drunken jesus facebook rant

(i posted this on a facebook event invitation i recieved, which was for some show-and-tell session at UNL for some random pompous ass who was attempting to "negate" the fictional book, "The Da Vinci Code." because we are all obviously that dumb. you can see screen snapshots here, here, here, here, and here. [if you actually spend the time to compare the snapshot post with the one here, you will notice a few small differences. i happened to change a word or two for the sake of grammar, thats all. look at the pics if you don't believe me, sinner.])


I cannot wait for this, ahem, speech.

speech
n.
1. The faculty or act of speaking.
2. The faculty or act of expressing or describing thoughts, feelings, or perceptions by the articulation of words.
2. Something spoken; an utterance.
3. Vocal communication; conversation.
4.
1. A talk or public address: The best impromptu speeches are the ones written well in advance (Ruth Gordon).
2. A printed copy of such an address.
5. One's habitual manner or style of speaking.
6. The language or dialect of a nation or region: American speech.
7. The sounding of a musical instrument.
8. The study of oral communication, speech sounds, and vocal physiology.
9. Archaic. Rumor.

sermon
n.

1. A religious discourse delivered as part of a church service.
2. An often lengthy and tedious speech of reproof or exhortation.

One in the same, obviously. Otherwise they wouldn't be synonyms!


Yes, nothing strikes my fancy more than a self-appointed "virtuoso"(whose obvious moral dilemmas, along with an underlying doubt in their own faith) that goes on a greed driven, "fact" pushing tirade. All for the sole reason of disproving a FICTIONAL book. Does that not show us the church's true opinion? That apparently, we Americans are stupid enough to believe whatever we happen to read? Or possibly are told? Wow. This guy's a revolutionary. He gets to show us how to prove one book as pure fiction, all by sourcing his reasoning out of another that is solely based off of faith! On top of it, this all comes spoon-fed to us with no actual scientific backing (no, intelligent design's "disproving" of scientific theory is about as vague and far-fetched as the attempts to explain its own. Therefore, for the purpose of this rant, it is not scientific. And also just plain stupid.). Plus, the book he is disproving was already in the fiction aisle long before his crusade; but then suddenly hundreds, if not thousands, of other righteous ones decided to jump on the "Dan Brown is a Pagan" bandwagon (hey, that rhymes)! Oh, and did I mention they also feel the need to snag a buck or two? Hey, we'll spend anything for God, though.
That guy's always broke.

All and all, this is still (somewhat) a free country. This man has the right to say what he has to say, just as much as I have the right to incessantly banter my opinions on facebook. So I say it would be nice if someone else was there; maybe to argue a counterpoint of sorts? A debate, perhaps?! Maybe an "expert" on some other notable works of fiction! Im not sure if any of you out there need examples, but I personally would start with Humpty Dumpty. Gosh, after that, we could finally take down all those silly Muslims, Hindi, Jews, Buddhists, Atheists, Agnostics, Amish, Mormons, Masons, Gays, Abortionists, and not to mention whoever else we consider inconvenient down the line.

Because that'll teach 'em.
Fucking heathens.

Saturday, April 8, 2006

to whom it may concern

due to some...ahem...misunderstandings, these shitty wanna-be blogs are now for my "friends" only. some people just seem to misconstrue the difference between "dark humor" and "the ravings of a lunatic." i appreciate those of you have supported me for whatever your reasoning may be (most likely drunk or suffering from a cold medicine overdose) so, in order to save myself any more headaches, you've gotta be buddy-buddy with my weirdo-self to read these things. i wouldn't be too worried though, i pretty much add anybody who requests it. especially if you have big boobies.

buena noche y adios
-Alec

Friday, March 17, 2006

"Allegedly Alcoholics"

i went to an A.A. (at first i thought "Alchemists, Apparently") meeting tonight. not by my choice, but because that thing we call the "justice system" decided it would be appropriate for me to attend this bullshit. two times a week, nonetheless. well, from things ive heard beforehand, this program has helped alot of people. but it is as hypocritical as any bullshit organization that i have ever seen. the first statement that is made about A.A. (or, more fittingly, "Assumptions Abound") is that they are a totally secular organization. from its first definition, secular means "Worldly rather than spiritual." well, ok then, fine. but A.A. (possibly "Apathetic Avoiders") has these "12 Steps." let me put these down here, just so we can be on the same level. (i copy and pasted these from a state government's site, but i had to add the periods. apparently the pious don't believe in punctuation.)


1. We admitted we were powerless over our addiction - that our lives had become unmanageable.

2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

5. Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

7. Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.

8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God's will for us and the power to carry that out.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other addict.


That sounds really secular to me. Five of those steps deal with god. and the word "god" is mentioned eight times (not counting "higher power"). so does that mean an atheist, who deciedes he is an alcoholic, is just plain fucked? or what about an egyptian, who somehow travels into the future, drinks a bunch of wine and attempts operating a "chariot of the gods" (laymans/non-assumed-egyptian term: car)? then he/she/Ra gets brought down by the american version of the god "Seth," or more commonly refered to as "the police." that unlucky time-traveler gets probation (assuming he already knew the pledge of allegiance and gained citizenship) and has to go to A.A. (or maybe it's "Amazingly Abased"). what the fuck are they supposed to believe? everything is about one "God." this guy's head must be spinning. what fucking god of his called him a drunk? this dudes gotta be pissed. he can't even finish all his steps until he figures out exactly who they are talking about. after a little thinking (and google), he finds out it's most likely that fucker Shezmu. that god is one pissed off guy. How else could he be the egyptian demonic god of execution, slaughter, blood, AND wine? (btw: thanks, wikipedia) so he tries out his steps, and guess what. he ends up failing, like 98.6f every other person that goes through A.A. (nope, got it. definitely "Assimilated Atrocities."). why? not because he didn't put his faith somewhere, not because he didn't try to make his "alcohol-related" wrongs right, but because he is a victim of himself. he is trying to rely on something or someone else to help void him of his own personal problems/fuck-ups, and it just doesn't work that way. if you want to fix something in your life, you think there might be a problem, well then fucking fix it. do whatever you feel you need to do to take care of it. if you don't succeed, either try again, or just say fuck it. as long as it's not interfering with you're life (social/work/school/pedophilia etc...) then it's not a problem. it fucking sickens me when they say alcoholism is a disease. no, AIDS is a disease. is there no difference between "Dude, I think you're an alcoholic;" and "Dude, I think you have AIDS."? well, if the obviously well-informed buddy ..2 has your latest blood test results somehow, he's probably right. but what's buddy ..1's proof? where does his concern come in? if he watched you get wasted, black out, rape his grandmother, burn down a synagogue, beat a homeless man to death, and then steal a kindergartner's milk money, guess what? he's a fucking asshole. he didn't tell you earlier on "hey, dipshit, slow the fuck down or i'm leaving you on the train tracks." that would have probably got you thinking a little about what you were where doing, and/or consuming (stay away from the brown acid). but if they just stand back, throw an unconcerned eye, and watch you fade away into something that corky from "Life Goes On" would probably call fat and throw rocks at, obviously means they are worthless fucking cunts. i still say it's a fact that if you go out partying and your friend is apparently going along right with you, but somehow they still remember every bit and piece the next day, as if they are fucking rain man, you need to pull your head out of your ass. this person revels in your misery, the idiot you become when you get out of yourself. they aren't there to stop you, they're there to egg you and your drunk ass on. and then, they are that exact same asshole who makes you feel like a piece of fuck the next day, telling you of all the stupid shit you did because you were dumb enough to listen to them, and to actually trust them. that probably tosses a little depression in your way. you know what would make you feel better? let's go drinking tonight! well, same scenerio, same conclusion. and then you wonder why they are always the first to call you when they want to go out? you're the fucking court jester. you are influenced way too fucking easy. you trust, you listen, you slip, you fall, and no one is there to help you up. why? because the ones you relied on are those same idiots that are too busy laughing their asses of at the reprehensible fuckhead you've just made of yourself. im sure you're asking by now (or about 28 sentences ago), what the fuck is my point here. my point is that there is no such thing as an alcoholic. it's a term that is used to define someone whose problems don't stem from alcohol, they just finally show themselves because of it. im not sure about you, but i've never met anyone who's life was fucking perfect. everyone's got to have an out. for some people it's reading (well, probably not JUST reading...), some it prescriptions, some it's therapy, some it's music, some it's drugs, some it's booze, some it's religion, and some it's suicide. im not saying any of these are the wrong, because it's not my fucking business how you deal with your day to day shit. praying makes you feel better? fine, go for it. pray to fucking humpty dumpty for all i care, as long as it works. you like drugs? shit, snort drano if it rings your bell. gonna kill yourself? well, hell, you won't ever have to worry about that bullshit ever again. plus your parents hate you anyway, show 'em who's boss.

my shitty abortion (paper)

i know this "blog" hasn't been getting updated on the regular basis it used to. so i intend to change that. im going to try and just totally go insane and post as much shit as i can. but while i'm working on that, ill leave you with a paper i just recently wrote for my "im pretty sure i took this in middle-school" rhetoric class. ENJOY!



2/25/06
Abortion and Its Effects on Society as a Whole

Out of the all the issues in the world today, abortion could easily be singled out as one of the most important. Of all the differing viewpoints, counterpoints, rhetoric, propaganda and such, it still comes down to one basic question: Should women have the right to make any choices concerning their bodies? In my opinion, the answer is most definitely a "yes". Who is to say what we do with our own bodies, female or not? Why should we give up our basic human rights to a governmental entity, possibly fueled more by politics and money than human interest? When we start leaving our own personal decisions up to faceless "representatives," can we be absolutely sure that they have everyone's best interests at heart? This problem cannot be resolved due to the nature of our governmental system. It's not a question of morals, religion, or fundamental beliefs. It's one that is about a human's right to make choices, the choices about our bodies, our well being, and the well being of others.
This is where the argument becomes more complex. The pious declare that it is morally wrong to take the life of an unborn child, no matter what the cost. Christianity dictates that God is the decision maker, the omni-potent, and taking the life of an unborn child is a sin. That is a valid argument, but a hypocritical one in my opinion.


A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything.
-Friedrich Nietzsche


I consider myself a reasonable man, with reasonable ideals and motives. That is why hypocrisy among the enlightened is such a frustrating concept. The concept of Pro-Life should be just that. Not just it should consider the lives of unborn children, but the ones still living on this earth, the ones living in our state wards, in our broken homes, even on the streets we call our own. Where is their special interest group? Where is their congressional lobbyist? The simple fact is that Pro-Life ends at birth. Another single mother persuaded, but most importantly, another potential abortion averted. Now the child can go home with its mother, unsure of the future ahead. Who is to say what the future holds? If a pregnant woman is seriously considering abortion, I cannot see how she could let herself be swayed, either by religious rhetoric or by the guilty feelings acquired from society. An unwanted pregnancy is just that. The woman is not ready for children, plain and simple. Why force her into coming to term? The majority of abortions are from single women, a child out of wedlock. (usstat 2001) God said killing another human is a sin. Under that logic, I would have to say that the three day-old cells reproducing in a mother's womb are just as important as a serial rapist and murderer on death row, and vice-versa. If so, why are so many Pro-Life proponents also supporters of the death penalty? Is it save the innocent, destroy the guilty? I wonder whatever happened to:


"Judge not, lest ye be judged."
-Jesus Christ (judgenot 2005)


That quote sums up the whole situation that Pro-Lifers, and those who believe in the literal interpretation of the bible, face on a moral basis. I don't see how is it righteous to save the 'life" of an unborn child, while it is also righteous to point fingers and pull switches on those who are less fortunate. When did the life of an unborn child become more important than the life we all live in together as a society?

It has been shown that the majority of people who are pro-life also happen to have conservative or extremist political views. This is the current Republican Party; a party whose support for banning abortion, gay marriages, and anything else us God-fearing Americans don't like, is all just the typical banana-on-a-string political ploy. These men are not righteous; these men are the war-mongers, the epitome of greed, gluttony, and sloth. The very sins we spend our lives trying to not commit, the government seems to revel in. I can see the reasoning for the contradiction, though. The government openly fights the causes we feel need fighting, and keep their own self-serving interests under the table. If we can't see it, it must not be there. These contradictions are on the verge of obscenity, right along with their amount of sheer apathy.

A person who is Pro-Choice might as well refer to themselves as Pro-Death. I know that seems a little ironic. It sounds more like useless slander, just trying to further the fight for the rights of unborn children. That still just brings me back to my original point, my main opinion. When did the rights of living, breathing, walking, talking human race come in second to those of an unborn fetus? How are we now the insignificant ones, when we are the providers and decision-makers in everyday life? No matter at what cost, abortion should always remain legal. The laws even need to be loosened in a lot of areas, such as the 18 and under rules and availability of the 72-hour pill. How would this help us as a society? A lot of children who are wards of the state wouldn't exist. (penn 1998) That statement may seem shocking at first, but it requires some thought. It has become common knowledge that a person is not born a criminal, such behavior is learned. A community full of un-raised, under-funded, and under-appreciated children is a breeding ground for the underbelly of society. We should then think about that one fetus; that unborn, untainted sample. Now its mother has ceased that was soon to be. That is one less child, one whose only future is becoming just another victim of society.

Are the things we value most in life also the things that will destroy us? It may be a rhetorical question, but it is one that should still make us think. It seems to make me think about some certain questions, questions such as: "Is it a good thing that some states are passing laws that will ban all abortions, even in the cases of rape and incest? Is human life so important, that we would force a woman to give birth to a child conceived under such conditions? Do we care so much about the life of the unborn, that we're apathetic towards the other lives that could be destroyed? Is it right to allow a child into this world whose quality of life will be considerably sub-standard? Is a heartbeat the only thing that defines such a life?" These are all just different ways of expressing the original question at hand. It may seem repetitive, but it's the only way I can find the truth behind my own thoughts and opinions. From this, I've come to learn that the best way to find the answers is to ask the questions that have none.

I am sure my opinion of abortion is not likely the most popular one. That is the beautiful thing about this country, the fact that every opinion has the right to be heard. The problem I have isn't with a person's opinion in general, but with the amount of significance that we give to it. One day, we will all understand the true failure of our society. We leave it up to uninformed politicians to make decisions for which matter the most, and the choices they make will be the destruction of the lives they have fought to create.







Works Cited

Howse, Brannon. "How "Judge Not" is Destroying America"
World Net Daily.com. 14 May 2005
http://www.worldnetdaily.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=44270

Blaum, Paul. "Welfare Reform, Abortion Restriction Polices Create Paradoxical Outcome"
Penn State Population Research Institute. 25 August 1998
http://www.pop.psu.edu/searchable/press/aug2598.htm

U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. "Abortion Surveillance: Preliminary AnalysisUnited States, 2001."
U.S. Abortion Statistics, 1972-2001
Infoplease.com http://www.infoplease.com/ipa/A0764203.html

Saturday, March 4, 2006

my favorite color is mescaline

i havent put anything on here in a while (well, like a few days, but fuck off i feel like a slacker with nothing to slack over), so this shit will probably suck. fuck. hey that rhymes. im clever. yes, this is probably going to keep getting worse. you should probably stop reading now, before you realize how big of a fucking loser you are reading this shit.



still here? alright, you must have no friends. thats ok though, you're the type of person that would still be here. the only thing you've got to kill is either time or yourself, and time is just the easy way out. pussy. ok, ill get to the point. i hate this country. i hate the government. i hate madd. i hate valdimir putin. i hate american idol. i hate tv in general. i hate the movie industry. i hate public education. i hate private education. i hate your parents. i hate my parents (just kidding mom! i need money) i hate that fat fuck who sues mcdonalds. i hate mcdonalds because they only serve breakfast for about 17.23 minutes each day. i hate fox news because they embody the extremist right media, but call themselves "fair and balanced." i hate the rest of the media in general, because they are called out as liberal and are too fucking pussy to speak their own opinions anymore. i love george dubya, because any one of jerry's kids that can make it that far, and still have people believing the trite bullshit his advisors make up obviously has something good going for him (i.e. trust fund, corporate board seats, etc). i hate the silver spoon in your fucking mouth. i hate the fact that it's not in mine. i hate the fat ugly chick that turned me down, even after i was "dared" to hit on her. i hate the fact that she shut me down after i REALLY started trying. i hate the fact that made me either want to fuck her or punch myself in the face for listening to my friends. i hate the way you look while you read this. i hate that the only way to get a worthwhile degree in college involves you going through these bullshit classes. i hate the fact that if those classes were burning hoops, monkeys and clowns would tell p.t. barnum that he could go fuck himself with the bearded ladies' dick. i hate the fact you didn't get that last joke. i hate working for a wage that a chinese sweatshop would strike over. i hate prescription drugs, and all the lovely things they do for me. i hate cops, because they always catch you when you're totally guilty. i hate any music that has an audience whose tastes are country/pop/rock/whateverthefuckmtvormyfriendstellmetolistento. i hate the fact it took you three times to read that cluster-fuck of words to finally get the shitty joke. i hate the fact that im wasting my time writing all this bullshit. i hate the fact that i really have nothing better to do. i hate hating on everything. i hate you for thinking i was serious about the last one. i hate the fact that i can't think of anything better to hate on. i hate the fact that i just said "hate on." i hate, i mean I FUCKING HATE, one thing so much i want to launch a fucking scud missle at a third world country just thinking about it...

button-fly jeans. i don't care what your're doing, they will always be a pain in the fucking ass. otherwise, im cool with about everything else.






oh yea, i hate you too. fucker.

Friday, February 24, 2006

ronald mcdonald is a registered sex offender

I have lost all faith in the mascots of the fast food industry. I decided to go out last night for some good ole' drunken debauchery, and ended up with an appointment for rape counseling. and probably McAIDS. The events leading up to it are gone; possibly due to shock, or, a certain someone slipping a McRoofie in my drink. after awakening from my drug-induced coma this morning, I could only come up with one possible conclusion: I was raped by ronald mcdonald. that is the only possible explanation. just as my bloodshot eyes were adjusting to the morning light, evidence came clearly into my view. I was surrounded by five chicken nuggets, along with a large portion of french fries strewn about the bed. the calling cards of a McRapist. the brutality of the situation soon became clear, judging by the honey mustard splattered across the sheets. still trying to amass the situation at hand, I finally admitted to myself what had happened. I was lucky to be alive. I tried to explain this to my managers, who wanted a reason as to why I was fourty-five minutes late to work, but it fell upon deaf ears. now I'm most likely jobless; but with a better understanding for the fear of clowns. next time I'll remember to scream McFire.

Saturday, February 18, 2006

brand new old stuff

I moved all my "alcohol n' adderal" influenced rantings here from my facebook profile, mainly because the jury is still out on what classifies as insanity on mypace. College kids just don't know talent when they see it. Or I'm just a moron.

___________________________


What you see is what you get...except on tuesdays. Or the occasional casual friday.
In other words, im too big of a douche bag to think of anything worth saying about myself. Except that im rich and have a gigantic penis.
And that im a compulsive liar.
Oh well.

This used to be a more extensive profile post, but i deleted most of the pharmaceutical-induced content. (update: ok, i've added a few crazy rants that are just testaments to my chemical imbalance. im really not this crazy in real life, i promise. i hide it extremely well.)


Albums currently in heavy IPod rotation (thank you, bittorrent!):
Arcade Fire - Funeral
Blue October - Consent to Treatment; The Answer
Nine Inch Nails - Still; The Fragile; Things Falling Apart
Death From Above 1979 - You're A Woman, I'm A Machine
Deftones - B-Sides and Rarities; White Pony
KMFDM - WWIII; NIHIL; Symbols; Hau Ruck
Jimmy Eat World - Clarity; Bleed American
Goldfinger - Open Your Eyes
Korn - Issues; Korn
A Perfect Circle - Mer de Norms; Thirteenth Step
Pink Floyd - The Wall; The Division Bell; Animals
Radiohead - OK Computer; Kid A
System of a Down - Steal this Album!; Hypnotize
Tool - Salival; Undertow
The White Stripes - Get Behind Me Satan
Static-X - Start A War; Wisconsin Death Trip
Alkaline Trio - Crimson; Good Mourning
Fall Out Boy - Take This To Your Grave; From Under The Cork Tree
Bright Eyes - Wide Awake It's Morning
Bruce Springsteen - Nebraska; The Ghost of Tom Joad
Slipknot - Iowa
Wilco - Kicking Television: Live in Chicago
Johnny Cash - The Legendary; American IV

And many others i just can't think of at the moment


You purchased 1 ticket to:

Nine Inch Nails
Pershing Center, Lincoln, NE
Friday February 17, 2006 8:00 pm
Seat location: section GENADM
Total Charge: $50.15

If you're going, i'll be the drunk guy getting beat up by high schoolers in the mosh pit. Don't be afraid to say hi! (or call 911, if you really want to get your good citizen badge for a day)


In other news, I just found out that they finally got Golden Tee Live back at Old Chicago. So just that you know, if you happen to frequent that restaurant, i will now be the smelly guy passed out on the army cot near the mens restroom. Otherwise, i will be the smelly drunk guy playing Golden Tee and talking shit to little kids playing Big Buck Hunter or that annoying fucking Stuffed Animal Crane game ("Please Insert More Quarters"...FUCK OFF MACHINE! I DONT WANT TO PLAY YOU!!!!)


Lately I've been trying to join all those "Hott UNL Campus Stud Horse-Cock Guy" groups on here. I've succeded in a few, but the ones with 100 person limit are bullshit. I checked out the guys on there, and I know I've got the upper-hand on at least one or two of em. Did that sound gay? Fuck it. I want to join a group that will only grant me access based on my appearance. I'm just as shallow and vain as the rest of you, dammit. Where's my fucking crown? I need this to increase my already overblown sense of self-importance, to help fully expand my delusions of grandeur. I want to idolize the greatest thing in the world: me. I want to able to achieve orgasm just by looking in the mirror, because I know nothing could possibly be sexier. I've got a semi now just thinking about it. So stop holding out people, and throw some nominations my way. My ego is just begging for it.


If you haven't noticed (or actually cared), I took the long, boring, (not to mention borderline section eight) rants off this profile post. But do not worry, my fellow peers and peer-ettes (sic, or it's just not even a definable word). I gave in to the peer pressure, not to mention some questionable CIA torture methods (i.e. peter-tags & the occasional "good game"), inflicted on me by my associates and friends (real ones, not the facebook variety), and opened a myspace account. I threw all that crazyness into a blog (short for web log, because im trendy like that), and if you are one of the two people who actually read it, you can now re-read my bullshit to your hearts content! And as an added bonus, maybe you might catch the clap! If you know me, then you probably already have that, so how about some new drug-induced psychotic ranting? It's even all typed up and posted online, so the whole world can ignore and/or ridicule my idiocy. Just remember: "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but there's no cure for herpes."
Enjoy!
(btw: if you are too lazy to scroll up to the links that are probably still showing at the top of your screen, the address is: http://www.myspace.com/leleetomassey [or http://www.fsdfilms.com]) Why the name? Figure it out for yourself, and you might just consider me witty. Or a little too keen on obscure, dorky references. :P


Days left on Facebook Probation: 0
The withdrawls were so bad I joined Myspace. I need to seek professional help.

nine inch nails rocked my face off; still missing



well, uh, the title says it all. i would go off on the numerous ass grabbings/pickpocket attempts, along with "get the fuck out of my way" becoming the "im rick james bitch" of the black-ensemble groupies that were probably still bleeding from cutting themselves, or the collar popped frat boy that was standing in front of me, looking like a palestinian that accidentally wandered into a synagogue. it was an interesting event, but bar none the best fucking concert ive ever seen.

Saturday, February 11, 2006

drugs are bad (and other myths)

word to the wise: just because you have a "cough" medicine, and seperate "congestion" medication, do not mix them. You will contemplate joining a milita so you can send whoever makes dayquil a Ted Kaczynski-special delivery. after about 3 hours of you drug induced shaking, hot sweats, cold sweats, cold sweats on hot skin, inability to move from your bed, and realize that it is a friday night, and for once in your life you actually had some sort of plans (well, not really, but i didnt plan on sitting at home all night...finale of arrested development was on, that was about my highlight of the night...blah blah blah please god give me aids, i know it cant be this bad. at least youve got like 7 plus years before symptoms show, eventually leading to horrible death. but it cant be that bad.) i seriously forgot what i was writing about, and i really cant see that well, and i dont have any motivation to look above to see what inconsistant bullshit i was rambling about. all i know is, if this shit isnt over with when i wake up, ill use those meds for what theyre really for... (which is attempted suicides to get the attention of loved ones because you feel rejected at 17 with no significant other or any real friends so you listen to some horrible local emo band that has a snowballs chance in hell of ever getting signed and dream of the day when people will appreciate you for who you are and your "natural beauty..." and by natural beauty i mean 43 piercings, 19 spoon/rc car motor tattoes (because ex-cons are SO cool), pasty white acne covered skin, greasy ass black plus pink or green or some other fucked up color, cut and styled like you let you blind brother with down syndrome become your personal hair/makeup guy, and your fucking makeup. or lack thereof. whatever, the lorazepam's kicking in, im gonna go watch true romance. why? didnt you read my post? i am obviously fucked in the head. jesus h christ, do you want me to draw you a picture? ok fuckit im done

Saturday, February 4, 2006

whoops! next time ill remember the xanax.

I think today is possibly the worst day of my life. I know what youre thinking, "Oh fucking cry, your life is so horrible, you fucking self-loathing douche. " Well, its not. But as far back as I can remember, I cannot even fathom a day such as this. I really dont want to go into total specifics, but Ill give you the gist of it. Day starts off waking up to alarm at 6:20 am. Hit snooze a few times, finally get up at 6:40. I seriously think that I am running late, so I haul ass in the shower and get non-smelly for my one and only class of the day. No big deal. All ready to leave, and I look at the clock. It says 7:13. My class isnt till 8:30. Fuck. I forced myself out of bed that early to finally realize that Im too dumb to remember how many minutes are in an hour. Oh well, fuck it, blah blah, soon class is over. I go to the library, do a few of my online courses (hey, thats what happens when you wait a week after pre-registration.). Then, after class, I had to go through this boring ass evaluation (dont ask), which is actually the reason I was late to work. No big deal though. I let them know ahead of time, plus we were dead as fuck the whole time anyway. So who cares? Thats right; No one. If I really had the time and the patience, I would go about explaining every other little bullshit thing that I went through today. But I already know that would be pointless. Whats the best that could happen? Somebody sends you a better luck next time greeting card? No, sorry, thats not the way the world works. Jesus, I want to just keep going about everything, but you would get bored in about 14 seconds. Its one of those things that I guess you had to be there. But Im sure my cut-n-dry quick story will fill you in enough.
This really isnt a story, but more of an anecdote.

Of all the things that went on today, none really seemed that significant until about 4:15 PM today. I was still at work, talking to some friends I know extremely well, when it happened. Im not going to try and dictate the actions in the minutes beforehand, and Im not going to say names or relations. I will say this was an accident in all forms of the word, trust me. I witnessed first hand, and I now have to deal with it, so lying isnt exactly going to make things better. Ok then, Ill get to the point. I have seen, heard, and talked about a lot of really fucked-up things in my life. Im never the willing participant, but shit, Ill hang out and watch you throw your life away. That has never bothered me. Ive seen some fucked up things, things I would gladly trade a limb just for 10 seconds of that feeling we like to call piece of mind, the sense of relief that you get when you have no worries, no afflictions. Alas, not in my world. Im not sure if its just a coincidence thing or what, but it seems like all creative-minded persons have all the seriously fucked up things happen to them, or at least have some role in them. I still say the only reason it seems this way, though, is because all artists take everything way out of context. They will find anything to tell themselves that some random person is part of world that is trying to suppress and censor them. It makes a lot more sense when you figure out youre the creative genius, and they are the fucking cretins. Ok, sorry, Ill get to the point.

Have you ever held some weird association in your head with sounds? It doesnt matter what it is, or where it came from, it still just happens to come out of nowhere for some reason, whether it actually exists or not? Well, thats not the sound Im talking about. Are you really sensitive? Or do you consider yourself jaded? Hey, fine. I throw myself on the jaded side the majority of the time, but not for this.

For the sake of argument; have you ever heard a warm cantaloupe hit the cement from about waist-height? If not, could you maybe imagine what that sounds like? If you still have no idea, go buy a fucking cantaloupe and throw it off your roof into your driveway. I realize thats more than around 3 feet, but that way you will get the message loud and clear. Ok, back to where I was. So you know the sound. Now just close your eyes; close them deep and hard. Dont make a visual image; just keep thinking of that sound. Let it get louder. Sit back; let that sound be all you can focus on. Relax. Everythings going to be ok. Just keep that sound going.

Still have the sound going? Great! Now, you want to know where Im going with this. Well, dont stop thinking about the sound, and Ill tell you Still going? Okay then. Quick question: Have you ever heard a six-month old baby fall four feet and land head first on concrete? If not, that sound youve been thinking about is about the closest I could get. Im not trying to be some crazy fuck here, I truly am serious. Ive been desensitized and traumatized by all sorts of shit in my life, but Id have taken those things ten-fold again if I could forget I witnessed such a travesty. Just think of that sound. Now keep the sound, but throw in the mental image of a 6-7 month old baby girl falling head first onto cement. Make sure the sound of the cantaloupe hitting the ground has the same timing. What next? Well, I dont know about you, but I really think I am going to vomit. And its not even the brown bottle flu. Guess my skin's not as thick as I thought it was.

Thursday, February 2, 2006

see, i'm not such a bad guy

Do you remember that asshole that cut you off yesterday? Well, that was me. How about the guy that bought the last copy of the newspaper? Sorry, didnt know you could read. What about that time somebody massively overflowed the toilet at your last party? I dont know about you, but I sure felt better. Or when you found out your mom was cheating on your dad, leading to their divorce, numerous lawsuits, and your new bastard-child little brother? Maybe next time shell remember to lock the door; let alone make sure I wasnt lying about the condom. How about that kid who used to call you fatass and throw rocks at your head in grade school? School counselor said I was just coming into my own; whats your excuse there, chunky? Youd never forget that guy who mugged you in the alley at gun-point, would you? Im still laughing you forked over four-hundred in cash and a grip-load of credit cards to some drunk fuck; especially when the only thing in that brown bag was my hand. Then there was the guy who told you he loved you, promised you the world, and then never called you back once he took your virginity? Guilty as charged. And after that car accident, when you discovered your bottle of Vicodin had magically refilled itself with tic-tacs? Lets seeyou left painkillers in your main bathrooms medicine cabinet. Using that logic, you might as well of left them on the front porch and been done with it. And you never did thank me for the tic-tacs, asshole. And speaking of drugs, how about the time you talked your best friend into trying coke, and they ended up going into a seizure and having a brain aneurysm? Well, most dealers cut coke with baking powder; but cocaine and Comet both start with a "c" so I assumed it was the better choice. How about when you had to walk seventeen miles out in the middle of nowhere because of four flat tires? The thing is, this guy I was pissed at had those exact same kind of tires. I just wasnt sure about the car. Im not sure if you know about this, but did anyone ever tell you that you spent an extra week in the hospital because of sudden toxic shock? All your IV was doing was dripping, so I just figured a nice squeeze or two might help you hop out of the hospital bed a little quicker. Guess too much saline in the body isnt a good thing.

But all things considered, you know Im not a bad person at heart. Remember the time your dog Ernie ran away, and you hadnt seen him for days? Who was the first person at your house, comforting you, telling you everything was going to be ok, letting you cry on their shoulder? Ok, that wasnt me, but at least poor Ernies still in your heart.

Plus, after the party you had, theres probably still some of him clogged in that toilet.

Friday, January 27, 2006

last i checked, lance armstrong wasn't enrolled at UNL

im going to summarize this post in one quick sentence. bikes (or anything with wheels, for that matter. sorry handi-man, better hire an undeclared pledge to carry your mobility-challenged ass around), should be permanently banned from campus. you cant even ride the goddamned things on any sidewalk downtown, and campus is downtown, so whats the fucking difference? i have to train-dodge these pompous ass clowns at least twice a day, and each time i get closer and closer to dealing out a well-executed neck chop to the next bag of douche that comes within arms length. it wouldnt bother me if these shitheads would abide by those little things called traffic laws, which state that pedestrians have the right-of-way. and no, just because your two legs are the objects that power your two-wheeled menace does not make you a pedestrian. it makes you just another fuck stick that thinks theyre some cowpoke riding their steed off into the sunset. just because you happen to look eight feet tall when youre scooting around does not mean you can act like it. and why does every one of these lazy dipshits insist on owning some 37-speed Trek, complete with front and rear triple-monotube, gas-filled, fast-action shock absorbers, quadruple titanium-spiked limited edition racing pedals, and a custom-made, butt-contoured, long-distance calf-skin comfort-gel seat? last I checked, avery hall was not perched alongside the peak of mount everest. since when did getting to class two minutes faster than everyone else become that important? if time is an issue, talk to an advisor when you make your next schedule, not to the wal-mart sales associate about how you have 37 seconds of travel time in-between classes. seriously, when has walking been this big of an issue? 97.5f the rest of the student body seems to be able to get around just fine this way, what the fuck is your problem? is it some sort of napoleon-complex, maybe an issue you have about sitting two feet higher in the atmosphere above everyone else? you are the same type of dipshit that buys a 2 mpg suv just to feel safe. fuck you. you are the reason for everything that is wrong with the world. want proof? well fuck you again, you dont deserve it. youre lucky Im even wasting my time talking about the waste of humanity you wish you could embody. you are the reason abortion should be legal across the board, and why stem-cell research should be embraced, because that is the only possible way anything good could come out of you. i am about to the point that when the next king of the sidewalk comes within spitting distance, i am going to throw out a friendly magic stick o vengeance right between the front spokes of your brand new huffy. then the rest of the student body, who have amazingly discovered the ability to walk upright, will guffaw at your newly paralyzed self laying on the grass, right next to the wall you just flew into. bet you wish you would have worn that helmet now, huh? have fun finding a pledge to carry you around, though, because theyre about to become a commodity. consider yourself lucky if you only lose the function of your legs. there is nothing cooler than watching some moron trying to army crawl while unknowingly being stepped on by fellow classmates, too occupied with their cell phones and ipods to notice youre the crippled proof that god has a sense of humor.

i think i just blacked out.
where the fuck did my pants go?
i don't remember a dead prostitute in my closet. that must mean it's a saturday.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

17 year olds are lightweights

alright, this picture isn't funny anymore.


but i still can't delete it for some reason.
(high...school...)

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

you'll start caring once it kills you

I was happy with the world today. Some may call that a rare occasion; but every dog has its day. I started a myspace account, got shit upon by coworkers/high schoolers, went out for a friends 21st, and finished the night substituting a fellow employee for the bar bowling league. All is kosher, no big deal. Then I got home. What a surprise lay dormant for me. I sit in my room, munch a DeLeon's breakfast burrito, and decide to turn on my T.V. What movie decides to grace itself within my presence? Elephant. I'm not sure if the three people reading this have seen it, but I suggest you do. I had totally blocked this film out of my memory after the first time I saw it, just a little over two years ago, and tonight was too fresh of a reminder. It came back to remind me of the human condition, the anti-social rage that is the fuel for the unappreciated youth. I offer no sympathy for the actions of the antagonists of the film, but yet I feel an overwhelming sense of guilt, almost to the point of empathy. It reminded me what it was like to care about someone you had never met before, someone who didn't even exist in your own personal world. It reminded me of all the shit this world is based upon, how the greed of the rich feeds off the dreams of the poor. I know this film is a character study, but it is a shocking film that should be seen by everyone; yet will most likely be understood by those who happened to be a teenager in the late 1990's. It is a saga of the misrepresentation, the misguidance, and the misdirection of the youth of today. These events could have easily been deterred, but I cannot say they would have not been repeated. The society we live in is one based on the ability to satisfy ourselves, and the relentless persecutions of others who we feel don't belong. We pride ourselves in our freedom, yet mistake it as a synonym for patriotism. We are the sheep, and our Shepard is the man with the outstanding ideals, the person who represents the everyman. But like the everyman, his say in the long run is notwithstanding, unless his appointed yes-men decide it so. This is the problem of our society. Not the fact that we are dumb enough to vote out of pure idealism, but that we would put our faith in a trust-fund asshole with favors to give. We fucked ourselves, and I don't give two shits who you voted for. The only reason a worthless fuck like this would even be allowed to participate in a school board election is because of two things: Public opinion, and money. You can buy opinion with money; the vice-versa isn't quite the same. I can bitch, but these are the inherent flaws of living in a capitalist society. We sometimes become so blinded by the thought of wealth we close our eyes to what's really important. I'm not sure where I am going with this. The question is, why the hell are you even wasting time reading it?

Saturday, January 21, 2006

i flew to thailand to fuck a twelve-year old prostitute and all i got was this lousy t-shirt

I hate myspace. I thought the instructions to my japanese bukkake starter kit were confusing, but this shit takes the cake (and those instructions were in german, for christs sake. those crazy japanese and their axis power ways). I'm not sure if they plan out different times for half the shit on the site to be down, or it's just plain coincidence. Whatever. And why does "Tom" automatically have to be my friend? For a minute there I was convinced I joined a man-on-man penis fencing team. I then soon realized he was the lazy college dropout that started this catastropy. Good job buddy. Thanks to you, now every emo-punk shithead fifteen year-old can make a crappy website to voice their photocopied opinions and asinine blathering. Not to mention the who-gives-two-shits comments their imaginary myspace "friends" somehow create; most likely by pounding their palsied fists at the keyboard while moaning like helen keller being beat with a blind stick by anne sullivan. Seriously, just search this site for "asshat," and you'll come up with 5432 matches (Trust me, I'm one of them). So why did I join, let alone continue to post bullshit on here if I loathe it so much? I don't know about you, but I'm just in it for the titties. Nothing like some pasty-white A-cup emo-boobies to liven up your day. All this typing is giving me a migraine. Must be time for an vodka/lorazepam cocktail; splashed with NyQuil for flavor's sake. A self-induced coma would really hit the spot about now.

Friday, January 13, 2006

a friendly "fuck you" to all the superficial assholes in the audienc

Today I was probably the main source of entertainment for about 3/4ths of the student body. I had to pick up some reading material from the bookstore (Guide to Writing, Hustler), and after the purchase i just threw it in my bookbag like any normal student would. After walking about 3 feet, I realized my bookbag had now weighed a metric ton and its shape reminded me of a jagged boulder. So I decided to drag it to my car and empty some of the load. Sat in my car, took out excess books, got out and walked back towards main campus. I still had an hour to kill before class, so I decided to walk around campus, enjoy the scenery, chain smoke cigarettes, and secretly check out boobies. This went all well and good, walked all over the place for about 35 minutes. Saw and passed many of my fellow students, no big deal. About 40 mintues into my jaunt, I was beginning to get irritated at my bookbag, something just felt weird about it when it was hanging off my shoulder. I stop and take it off, and to my surprise, it was completely unzipped and hanging wide open. I felt like the biggest jackass within 5 square miles (and there's alot of homeless guys around there, so you know i felt like shit). As I checked my inventory, I came to the realization that I must have walked by about 500 people, and not one person even tapped me on the goddamn shoulder to tell me i was split open wider than a hooker's legs on twofer-tuesday. That pissed me off. So if anyone out there reading this remembers getting a cheap laugh at my expense: i hope your future children are born looking like god took a mulligan. After 3 months of staring at that monstrosity, you decide to swallow a bottle of tylenol. You are obviously worthless at life (probably an economics major), so your take-my-pain-away attempt fails miserably; leaving you to become the Terri Schiavo of 2006. You could have thrown a fucking rock at my head, and as soon as i regained consciousness im sure i would have noticed my bookbag was unzipped. And the fucking clincher: Later i went back to the union to get another book (The Best of Penthouse Forum), lit a cigarette as i was walking out, and not 20 fucking feet away this guy pratically chases me down and taps me on the shoulder. I pull the headphone bud out of my ear, and before i can even get a word in, he says "Hey man, can I get a smoke from ya?" So i punched him in the throat and stomped on his chest till i heard ribs break. Where the fuck was that bum 2 hours ago? Probably laughing at my ass, all while the contents of my bag slowly marked my trail like red riding hood's fucking bread crumbs. So he deserved the bashing I so lovingly laid upon his ass. I seriously would have rather been walking around with my fly down. Maybe then someone would have gotten a free shot at my cash & prizes. It's always fun to catch a pecker checker.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

give me my rib back, you thieving harlot

Like many people in this world, I am single. And I figured out not long ago that I am gonna be that way for a loooong time. Why? Lets get down to brass tacks. Some people think that similar interests will lead to inevitable attraction. That's bullshit. Unless you're identical twins and born in Kentucky, that connection is short lived at best. Why, you ask? Every woman Ive ever met that shared even a quarter of my interests had a Britannica sized edition of personality disorders, and probably cut herself daily just "to feel something." Nix that idea. Others say opposites attract. Bullshit ..2. Any woman whose interests are diametrically opposed to mine will lose interest quickly. Which is pretty much after she realizes what a nutbag I really am, and that everything I told her in the beginning was just a line of bullshit to get in her pants. And if she fell for that, whoops. Your bad. But these are also the women that drive me totally insane, because they ditch my ass like a prom night pregnancy and I have no sense of closure. I cant fucking stand that, because I hate loose ends more than I love loose women. So I'll keep trying and trying to work at it or figure out some sort of answer, and Ill either get the runaround or they inexplicitly disappear off the face of the planet (you know who you are...call me back, please?) Thats just a bad deal. And then there are the ones who catch me in not the best of moods, and feel they can have an "intellectual" discussion about things they have no fucking clue about. Ill entertain their ideas, thoughts, and whatever else they can come up with. But when it's my turn to talk, Ill turn up the heat to the point that being just uncomfortable seems ideal. Example: A few weeks ago, I was in one of those "The human race disgusts me" moods (this usually happens after work. customers suck.), and a friend of mine's "friend," who I had never met, starts talking to me. She begins with inane conversation, then somehow proceeds to ramble on about conspiracy theories dealing with the Kennedy assassination and such (I think I am just a magnet for this shit...the CIA ordered 11 poison dart shooting umbrellas? I was such awe of the astounding stupidity that I thought I was feeling the onset of an epileptic seizure), and then started getting into politics (abortion, welfare and such...topics I have firm ideals on that I express very willingly when I feel they deserve merit). I counter pointed and conversated about all sorts of the ins and outs of these general topics, and then came closing time. Everything seemed all good, I got to vent, and she seemed fine after my self-indulgent rant. I go use the men's room before leaving (no.1, if you were curious), and then hop in my car and head over to a friend's place. Ten minutes later, my phone rings. It ends up being the friend from earlier, who's other "friend" I was debating with apparently was crying all the way to her house about how I "made fun of" her miscarriage at 15, her idiotic opinions on everything, how her face looked like it was hit with a waffle iron, about how her vocabulary was about as deep as a 4th graders, and probably something about how bulimic whores, such as herself, should go choke on their own vomit, drown in the toilet, and stop wasting the air of those of us with an IQ higher than the amount of fingers we can hold up. But alas, I was fucking pissed. I had done no such thing (I was sober, trust me, I remember), and this did not make me a happy-go-fucking-lucky camper. I argued about these infantile accusations for awhile, and then realized it was pointless. I know I can be a heartless bastard, willing to go above and beyond good taste when I really feel someone deserves it, but I was actually innocent this time. And now Im pissed off again from just bringing it up.
Fuck her. Crybaby.