Saturday, January 21, 2006

i flew to thailand to fuck a twelve-year old prostitute and all i got was this lousy t-shirt

I hate myspace. I thought the instructions to my japanese bukkake starter kit were confusing, but this shit takes the cake (and those instructions were in german, for christs sake. those crazy japanese and their axis power ways). I'm not sure if they plan out different times for half the shit on the site to be down, or it's just plain coincidence. Whatever. And why does "Tom" automatically have to be my friend? For a minute there I was convinced I joined a man-on-man penis fencing team. I then soon realized he was the lazy college dropout that started this catastropy. Good job buddy. Thanks to you, now every emo-punk shithead fifteen year-old can make a crappy website to voice their photocopied opinions and asinine blathering. Not to mention the who-gives-two-shits comments their imaginary myspace "friends" somehow create; most likely by pounding their palsied fists at the keyboard while moaning like helen keller being beat with a blind stick by anne sullivan. Seriously, just search this site for "asshat," and you'll come up with 5432 matches (Trust me, I'm one of them). So why did I join, let alone continue to post bullshit on here if I loathe it so much? I don't know about you, but I'm just in it for the titties. Nothing like some pasty-white A-cup emo-boobies to liven up your day. All this typing is giving me a migraine. Must be time for an vodka/lorazepam cocktail; splashed with NyQuil for flavor's sake. A self-induced coma would really hit the spot about now.

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