Friday, March 17, 2006

"Allegedly Alcoholics"

i went to an A.A. (at first i thought "Alchemists, Apparently") meeting tonight. not by my choice, but because that thing we call the "justice system" decided it would be appropriate for me to attend this bullshit. two times a week, nonetheless. well, from things ive heard beforehand, this program has helped alot of people. but it is as hypocritical as any bullshit organization that i have ever seen. the first statement that is made about A.A. (or, more fittingly, "Assumptions Abound") is that they are a totally secular organization. from its first definition, secular means "Worldly rather than spiritual." well, ok then, fine. but A.A. (possibly "Apathetic Avoiders") has these "12 Steps." let me put these down here, just so we can be on the same level. (i copy and pasted these from a state government's site, but i had to add the periods. apparently the pious don't believe in punctuation.)

1. We admitted we were powerless over our addiction - that our lives had become unmanageable.

2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

5. Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

7. Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.

8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God's will for us and the power to carry that out.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other addict.

That sounds really secular to me. Five of those steps deal with god. and the word "god" is mentioned eight times (not counting "higher power"). so does that mean an atheist, who deciedes he is an alcoholic, is just plain fucked? or what about an egyptian, who somehow travels into the future, drinks a bunch of wine and attempts operating a "chariot of the gods" (laymans/non-assumed-egyptian term: car)? then he/she/Ra gets brought down by the american version of the god "Seth," or more commonly refered to as "the police." that unlucky time-traveler gets probation (assuming he already knew the pledge of allegiance and gained citizenship) and has to go to A.A. (or maybe it's "Amazingly Abased"). what the fuck are they supposed to believe? everything is about one "God." this guy's head must be spinning. what fucking god of his called him a drunk? this dudes gotta be pissed. he can't even finish all his steps until he figures out exactly who they are talking about. after a little thinking (and google), he finds out it's most likely that fucker Shezmu. that god is one pissed off guy. How else could he be the egyptian demonic god of execution, slaughter, blood, AND wine? (btw: thanks, wikipedia) so he tries out his steps, and guess what. he ends up failing, like 98.6f every other person that goes through A.A. (nope, got it. definitely "Assimilated Atrocities."). why? not because he didn't put his faith somewhere, not because he didn't try to make his "alcohol-related" wrongs right, but because he is a victim of himself. he is trying to rely on something or someone else to help void him of his own personal problems/fuck-ups, and it just doesn't work that way. if you want to fix something in your life, you think there might be a problem, well then fucking fix it. do whatever you feel you need to do to take care of it. if you don't succeed, either try again, or just say fuck it. as long as it's not interfering with you're life (social/work/school/pedophilia etc...) then it's not a problem. it fucking sickens me when they say alcoholism is a disease. no, AIDS is a disease. is there no difference between "Dude, I think you're an alcoholic;" and "Dude, I think you have AIDS."? well, if the obviously well-informed buddy ..2 has your latest blood test results somehow, he's probably right. but what's buddy ..1's proof? where does his concern come in? if he watched you get wasted, black out, rape his grandmother, burn down a synagogue, beat a homeless man to death, and then steal a kindergartner's milk money, guess what? he's a fucking asshole. he didn't tell you earlier on "hey, dipshit, slow the fuck down or i'm leaving you on the train tracks." that would have probably got you thinking a little about what you were where doing, and/or consuming (stay away from the brown acid). but if they just stand back, throw an unconcerned eye, and watch you fade away into something that corky from "Life Goes On" would probably call fat and throw rocks at, obviously means they are worthless fucking cunts. i still say it's a fact that if you go out partying and your friend is apparently going along right with you, but somehow they still remember every bit and piece the next day, as if they are fucking rain man, you need to pull your head out of your ass. this person revels in your misery, the idiot you become when you get out of yourself. they aren't there to stop you, they're there to egg you and your drunk ass on. and then, they are that exact same asshole who makes you feel like a piece of fuck the next day, telling you of all the stupid shit you did because you were dumb enough to listen to them, and to actually trust them. that probably tosses a little depression in your way. you know what would make you feel better? let's go drinking tonight! well, same scenerio, same conclusion. and then you wonder why they are always the first to call you when they want to go out? you're the fucking court jester. you are influenced way too fucking easy. you trust, you listen, you slip, you fall, and no one is there to help you up. why? because the ones you relied on are those same idiots that are too busy laughing their asses of at the reprehensible fuckhead you've just made of yourself. im sure you're asking by now (or about 28 sentences ago), what the fuck is my point here. my point is that there is no such thing as an alcoholic. it's a term that is used to define someone whose problems don't stem from alcohol, they just finally show themselves because of it. im not sure about you, but i've never met anyone who's life was fucking perfect. everyone's got to have an out. for some people it's reading (well, probably not JUST reading...), some it prescriptions, some it's therapy, some it's music, some it's drugs, some it's booze, some it's religion, and some it's suicide. im not saying any of these are the wrong, because it's not my fucking business how you deal with your day to day shit. praying makes you feel better? fine, go for it. pray to fucking humpty dumpty for all i care, as long as it works. you like drugs? shit, snort drano if it rings your bell. gonna kill yourself? well, hell, you won't ever have to worry about that bullshit ever again. plus your parents hate you anyway, show 'em who's boss.

my shitty abortion (paper)

i know this "blog" hasn't been getting updated on the regular basis it used to. so i intend to change that. im going to try and just totally go insane and post as much shit as i can. but while i'm working on that, ill leave you with a paper i just recently wrote for my "im pretty sure i took this in middle-school" rhetoric class. ENJOY!

Abortion and Its Effects on Society as a Whole

Out of the all the issues in the world today, abortion could easily be singled out as one of the most important. Of all the differing viewpoints, counterpoints, rhetoric, propaganda and such, it still comes down to one basic question: Should women have the right to make any choices concerning their bodies? In my opinion, the answer is most definitely a "yes". Who is to say what we do with our own bodies, female or not? Why should we give up our basic human rights to a governmental entity, possibly fueled more by politics and money than human interest? When we start leaving our own personal decisions up to faceless "representatives," can we be absolutely sure that they have everyone's best interests at heart? This problem cannot be resolved due to the nature of our governmental system. It's not a question of morals, religion, or fundamental beliefs. It's one that is about a human's right to make choices, the choices about our bodies, our well being, and the well being of others.
This is where the argument becomes more complex. The pious declare that it is morally wrong to take the life of an unborn child, no matter what the cost. Christianity dictates that God is the decision maker, the omni-potent, and taking the life of an unborn child is a sin. That is a valid argument, but a hypocritical one in my opinion.

A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything.
-Friedrich Nietzsche

I consider myself a reasonable man, with reasonable ideals and motives. That is why hypocrisy among the enlightened is such a frustrating concept. The concept of Pro-Life should be just that. Not just it should consider the lives of unborn children, but the ones still living on this earth, the ones living in our state wards, in our broken homes, even on the streets we call our own. Where is their special interest group? Where is their congressional lobbyist? The simple fact is that Pro-Life ends at birth. Another single mother persuaded, but most importantly, another potential abortion averted. Now the child can go home with its mother, unsure of the future ahead. Who is to say what the future holds? If a pregnant woman is seriously considering abortion, I cannot see how she could let herself be swayed, either by religious rhetoric or by the guilty feelings acquired from society. An unwanted pregnancy is just that. The woman is not ready for children, plain and simple. Why force her into coming to term? The majority of abortions are from single women, a child out of wedlock. (usstat 2001) God said killing another human is a sin. Under that logic, I would have to say that the three day-old cells reproducing in a mother's womb are just as important as a serial rapist and murderer on death row, and vice-versa. If so, why are so many Pro-Life proponents also supporters of the death penalty? Is it save the innocent, destroy the guilty? I wonder whatever happened to:

"Judge not, lest ye be judged."
-Jesus Christ (judgenot 2005)

That quote sums up the whole situation that Pro-Lifers, and those who believe in the literal interpretation of the bible, face on a moral basis. I don't see how is it righteous to save the 'life" of an unborn child, while it is also righteous to point fingers and pull switches on those who are less fortunate. When did the life of an unborn child become more important than the life we all live in together as a society?

It has been shown that the majority of people who are pro-life also happen to have conservative or extremist political views. This is the current Republican Party; a party whose support for banning abortion, gay marriages, and anything else us God-fearing Americans don't like, is all just the typical banana-on-a-string political ploy. These men are not righteous; these men are the war-mongers, the epitome of greed, gluttony, and sloth. The very sins we spend our lives trying to not commit, the government seems to revel in. I can see the reasoning for the contradiction, though. The government openly fights the causes we feel need fighting, and keep their own self-serving interests under the table. If we can't see it, it must not be there. These contradictions are on the verge of obscenity, right along with their amount of sheer apathy.

A person who is Pro-Choice might as well refer to themselves as Pro-Death. I know that seems a little ironic. It sounds more like useless slander, just trying to further the fight for the rights of unborn children. That still just brings me back to my original point, my main opinion. When did the rights of living, breathing, walking, talking human race come in second to those of an unborn fetus? How are we now the insignificant ones, when we are the providers and decision-makers in everyday life? No matter at what cost, abortion should always remain legal. The laws even need to be loosened in a lot of areas, such as the 18 and under rules and availability of the 72-hour pill. How would this help us as a society? A lot of children who are wards of the state wouldn't exist. (penn 1998) That statement may seem shocking at first, but it requires some thought. It has become common knowledge that a person is not born a criminal, such behavior is learned. A community full of un-raised, under-funded, and under-appreciated children is a breeding ground for the underbelly of society. We should then think about that one fetus; that unborn, untainted sample. Now its mother has ceased that was soon to be. That is one less child, one whose only future is becoming just another victim of society.

Are the things we value most in life also the things that will destroy us? It may be a rhetorical question, but it is one that should still make us think. It seems to make me think about some certain questions, questions such as: "Is it a good thing that some states are passing laws that will ban all abortions, even in the cases of rape and incest? Is human life so important, that we would force a woman to give birth to a child conceived under such conditions? Do we care so much about the life of the unborn, that we're apathetic towards the other lives that could be destroyed? Is it right to allow a child into this world whose quality of life will be considerably sub-standard? Is a heartbeat the only thing that defines such a life?" These are all just different ways of expressing the original question at hand. It may seem repetitive, but it's the only way I can find the truth behind my own thoughts and opinions. From this, I've come to learn that the best way to find the answers is to ask the questions that have none.

I am sure my opinion of abortion is not likely the most popular one. That is the beautiful thing about this country, the fact that every opinion has the right to be heard. The problem I have isn't with a person's opinion in general, but with the amount of significance that we give to it. One day, we will all understand the true failure of our society. We leave it up to uninformed politicians to make decisions for which matter the most, and the choices they make will be the destruction of the lives they have fought to create.

Works Cited

Howse, Brannon. "How "Judge Not" is Destroying America"
World Net 14 May 2005

Blaum, Paul. "Welfare Reform, Abortion Restriction Polices Create Paradoxical Outcome"
Penn State Population Research Institute. 25 August 1998

U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. "Abortion Surveillance: Preliminary AnalysisUnited States, 2001."
U.S. Abortion Statistics, 1972-2001

Saturday, March 4, 2006

my favorite color is mescaline

i havent put anything on here in a while (well, like a few days, but fuck off i feel like a slacker with nothing to slack over), so this shit will probably suck. fuck. hey that rhymes. im clever. yes, this is probably going to keep getting worse. you should probably stop reading now, before you realize how big of a fucking loser you are reading this shit.

still here? alright, you must have no friends. thats ok though, you're the type of person that would still be here. the only thing you've got to kill is either time or yourself, and time is just the easy way out. pussy. ok, ill get to the point. i hate this country. i hate the government. i hate madd. i hate valdimir putin. i hate american idol. i hate tv in general. i hate the movie industry. i hate public education. i hate private education. i hate your parents. i hate my parents (just kidding mom! i need money) i hate that fat fuck who sues mcdonalds. i hate mcdonalds because they only serve breakfast for about 17.23 minutes each day. i hate fox news because they embody the extremist right media, but call themselves "fair and balanced." i hate the rest of the media in general, because they are called out as liberal and are too fucking pussy to speak their own opinions anymore. i love george dubya, because any one of jerry's kids that can make it that far, and still have people believing the trite bullshit his advisors make up obviously has something good going for him (i.e. trust fund, corporate board seats, etc). i hate the silver spoon in your fucking mouth. i hate the fact that it's not in mine. i hate the fat ugly chick that turned me down, even after i was "dared" to hit on her. i hate the fact that she shut me down after i REALLY started trying. i hate the fact that made me either want to fuck her or punch myself in the face for listening to my friends. i hate the way you look while you read this. i hate that the only way to get a worthwhile degree in college involves you going through these bullshit classes. i hate the fact that if those classes were burning hoops, monkeys and clowns would tell p.t. barnum that he could go fuck himself with the bearded ladies' dick. i hate the fact you didn't get that last joke. i hate working for a wage that a chinese sweatshop would strike over. i hate prescription drugs, and all the lovely things they do for me. i hate cops, because they always catch you when you're totally guilty. i hate any music that has an audience whose tastes are country/pop/rock/whateverthefuckmtvormyfriendstellmetolistento. i hate the fact it took you three times to read that cluster-fuck of words to finally get the shitty joke. i hate the fact that im wasting my time writing all this bullshit. i hate the fact that i really have nothing better to do. i hate hating on everything. i hate you for thinking i was serious about the last one. i hate the fact that i can't think of anything better to hate on. i hate the fact that i just said "hate on." i hate, i mean I FUCKING HATE, one thing so much i want to launch a fucking scud missle at a third world country just thinking about it...

button-fly jeans. i don't care what your're doing, they will always be a pain in the fucking ass. otherwise, im cool with about everything else.

oh yea, i hate you too. fucker.