i went to an A.A. (at first i thought "Alchemists, Apparently") meeting tonight. not by my choice, but because that thing we call the "justice system" decided it would be appropriate for me to attend this bullshit. two times a week, nonetheless. well, from things ive heard beforehand, this program has helped alot of people. but it is as hypocritical as any bullshit organization that i have ever seen. the first statement that is made about A.A. (or, more fittingly, "Assumptions Abound") is that they are a totally secular organization. from its first definition, secular means "Worldly rather than spiritual." well, ok then, fine. but A.A. (possibly "Apathetic Avoiders") has these "12 Steps." let me put these down here, just so we can be on the same level. (i copy and pasted these from a state government's site, but i had to add the periods. apparently the pious don't believe in punctuation.)
1. We admitted we were powerless over our addiction - that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God's will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other addict.
That sounds really secular to me. Five of those steps deal with god. and the word "god" is mentioned eight times (not counting "higher power"). so does that mean an atheist, who deciedes he is an alcoholic, is just plain fucked? or what about an egyptian, who somehow travels into the future, drinks a bunch of wine and attempts operating a "chariot of the gods" (laymans/non-assumed-egyptian term: car)? then he/she/Ra gets brought down by the american version of the god "Seth," or more commonly refered to as "the police." that unlucky time-traveler gets probation (assuming he already knew the pledge of allegiance and gained citizenship) and has to go to A.A. (or maybe it's "Amazingly Abased"). what the fuck are they supposed to believe? everything is about one "God." this guy's head must be spinning. what fucking god of his called him a drunk? this dudes gotta be pissed. he can't even finish all his steps until he figures out exactly who they are talking about. after a little thinking (and google), he finds out it's most likely that fucker Shezmu. that god is one pissed off guy. How else could he be the egyptian demonic god of execution, slaughter, blood, AND wine? (btw: thanks, wikipedia) so he tries out his steps, and guess what. he ends up failing, like 98.6f every other person that goes through A.A. (nope, got it. definitely "Assimilated Atrocities."). why? not because he didn't put his faith somewhere, not because he didn't try to make his "alcohol-related" wrongs right, but because he is a victim of himself. he is trying to rely on something or someone else to help void him of his own personal problems/fuck-ups, and it just doesn't work that way. if you want to fix something in your life, you think there might be a problem, well then fucking fix it. do whatever you feel you need to do to take care of it. if you don't succeed, either try again, or just say fuck it. as long as it's not interfering with you're life (social/work/school/pedophilia etc...) then it's not a problem. it fucking sickens me when they say alcoholism is a disease. no, AIDS is a disease. is there no difference between "Dude, I think you're an alcoholic;" and "Dude, I think you have AIDS."? well, if the obviously well-informed buddy ..2 has your latest blood test results somehow, he's probably right. but what's buddy ..1's proof? where does his concern come in? if he watched you get wasted, black out, rape his grandmother, burn down a synagogue, beat a homeless man to death, and then steal a kindergartner's milk money, guess what? he's a fucking asshole. he didn't tell you earlier on "hey, dipshit, slow the fuck down or i'm leaving you on the train tracks." that would have probably got you thinking a little about what you were where doing, and/or consuming (stay away from the brown acid). but if they just stand back, throw an unconcerned eye, and watch you fade away into something that corky from "Life Goes On" would probably call fat and throw rocks at, obviously means they are worthless fucking cunts. i still say it's a fact that if you go out partying and your friend is apparently going along right with you, but somehow they still remember every bit and piece the next day, as if they are fucking rain man, you need to pull your head out of your ass. this person revels in your misery, the idiot you become when you get out of yourself. they aren't there to stop you, they're there to egg you and your drunk ass on. and then, they are that exact same asshole who makes you feel like a piece of fuck the next day, telling you of all the stupid shit you did because you were dumb enough to listen to them, and to actually trust them. that probably tosses a little depression in your way. you know what would make you feel better? let's go drinking tonight! well, same scenerio, same conclusion. and then you wonder why they are always the first to call you when they want to go out? you're the fucking court jester. you are influenced way too fucking easy. you trust, you listen, you slip, you fall, and no one is there to help you up. why? because the ones you relied on are those same idiots that are too busy laughing their asses of at the reprehensible fuckhead you've just made of yourself. im sure you're asking by now (or about 28 sentences ago), what the fuck is my point here. my point is that there is no such thing as an alcoholic. it's a term that is used to define someone whose problems don't stem from alcohol, they just finally show themselves because of it. im not sure about you, but i've never met anyone who's life was fucking perfect. everyone's got to have an out. for some people it's reading (well, probably not JUST reading...), some it prescriptions, some it's therapy, some it's music, some it's drugs, some it's booze, some it's religion, and some it's suicide. im not saying any of these are the wrong, because it's not my fucking business how you deal with your day to day shit. praying makes you feel better? fine, go for it. pray to fucking humpty dumpty for all i care, as long as it works. you like drugs? shit, snort drano if it rings your bell. gonna kill yourself? well, hell, you won't ever have to worry about that bullshit ever again. plus your parents hate you anyway, show 'em who's boss.
What happens when you send a Cracked comedy writer to Best Korea for a week? You get back a ... surprisingly balanced and thoughtful look at a largely misunderstood country? [Interesting] - [image: Interesting] [link] [6 comments]
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