Monday, April 24, 2006

drunken jesus facebook rant

(i posted this on a facebook event invitation i recieved, which was for some show-and-tell session at UNL for some random pompous ass who was attempting to "negate" the fictional book, "The Da Vinci Code." because we are all obviously that dumb. you can see screen snapshots here, here, here, here, and here. [if you actually spend the time to compare the snapshot post with the one here, you will notice a few small differences. i happened to change a word or two for the sake of grammar, thats all. look at the pics if you don't believe me, sinner.])

I cannot wait for this, ahem, speech.

1. The faculty or act of speaking.
2. The faculty or act of expressing or describing thoughts, feelings, or perceptions by the articulation of words.
2. Something spoken; an utterance.
3. Vocal communication; conversation.
1. A talk or public address: The best impromptu speeches are the ones written well in advance (Ruth Gordon).
2. A printed copy of such an address.
5. One's habitual manner or style of speaking.
6. The language or dialect of a nation or region: American speech.
7. The sounding of a musical instrument.
8. The study of oral communication, speech sounds, and vocal physiology.
9. Archaic. Rumor.


1. A religious discourse delivered as part of a church service.
2. An often lengthy and tedious speech of reproof or exhortation.

One in the same, obviously. Otherwise they wouldn't be synonyms!

Yes, nothing strikes my fancy more than a self-appointed "virtuoso"(whose obvious moral dilemmas, along with an underlying doubt in their own faith) that goes on a greed driven, "fact" pushing tirade. All for the sole reason of disproving a FICTIONAL book. Does that not show us the church's true opinion? That apparently, we Americans are stupid enough to believe whatever we happen to read? Or possibly are told? Wow. This guy's a revolutionary. He gets to show us how to prove one book as pure fiction, all by sourcing his reasoning out of another that is solely based off of faith! On top of it, this all comes spoon-fed to us with no actual scientific backing (no, intelligent design's "disproving" of scientific theory is about as vague and far-fetched as the attempts to explain its own. Therefore, for the purpose of this rant, it is not scientific. And also just plain stupid.). Plus, the book he is disproving was already in the fiction aisle long before his crusade; but then suddenly hundreds, if not thousands, of other righteous ones decided to jump on the "Dan Brown is a Pagan" bandwagon (hey, that rhymes)! Oh, and did I mention they also feel the need to snag a buck or two? Hey, we'll spend anything for God, though.
That guy's always broke.

All and all, this is still (somewhat) a free country. This man has the right to say what he has to say, just as much as I have the right to incessantly banter my opinions on facebook. So I say it would be nice if someone else was there; maybe to argue a counterpoint of sorts? A debate, perhaps?! Maybe an "expert" on some other notable works of fiction! Im not sure if any of you out there need examples, but I personally would start with Humpty Dumpty. Gosh, after that, we could finally take down all those silly Muslims, Hindi, Jews, Buddhists, Atheists, Agnostics, Amish, Mormons, Masons, Gays, Abortionists, and not to mention whoever else we consider inconvenient down the line.

Because that'll teach 'em.
Fucking heathens.

Saturday, April 8, 2006

to whom it may concern

due to some...ahem...misunderstandings, these shitty wanna-be blogs are now for my "friends" only. some people just seem to misconstrue the difference between "dark humor" and "the ravings of a lunatic." i appreciate those of you have supported me for whatever your reasoning may be (most likely drunk or suffering from a cold medicine overdose) so, in order to save myself any more headaches, you've gotta be buddy-buddy with my weirdo-self to read these things. i wouldn't be too worried though, i pretty much add anybody who requests it. especially if you have big boobies.

buena noche y adios