1. If your doctor said you were pregnant, what would you do?
i would be overjoyed and probably cry
2. Do you trust all of your friends?
3. Would you move to another state or country to be with the one you love?
i thought jesus lived everywhere
4. Do you believe that everything happens for a reason?
reasons are what unlucky people use as an excuse for their shitty lives. in other words, yes.
5. Name two things you would NOT tolerate in a relationship.
back-talk and not washing my fucking dishes
6. Which one of your friends do you think would make the best doctor?
freddy, this homeless guy that i talked to for awhile downtown the other day. he said he was my friend.
7. When was the last time you snuck out?
someone would have to care that i was there in the first place
8. Are you afraid of falling in love?
no, but i am afraid of falling. and bears.
9. Is there someone who pops into your mind at random times?
10. Would you stop talking to your friends because you hooked up with a new person?
i'd probably just stop talking to whatever person i was hooking up with before. (ha!)
11. When was the last time you flew in a plane?
from denver to lincoln a few weeks ago. it was quick and painless, like my sex life.
12. What did the last text message you sent say?
wtf rotflmfao bff brb
13. What features do you find most attractive in the opposite sex?
a good personality and nice teeth. big boobs don't hurt, either.
14. Fill in the blank. I like ________.
big butts and i cannot lie.
15. What are your goals in life?
to set more goals.
17. When you get married, how would you envision your dream wedding?
in a courtroom while massively drunk
18. If you could say just one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be?
"what?", because that would get really annoying
19. How many kids do you want to have?
however many i can fit in my trunk
21. Would you make a good parent?
see above question
22. Where was your default pic taken?
at the smoking lounge in the denver airport
23. What is your middle name?
27. Honestly, what's on your mind right now?
how bad my life must suck to be wasting my time on this
28. Are you musical?
i'm one jive turkey
29. If you could go back in time and change something, what would you change?
i would go back to ten minutes ago and convince myself not to waste my time on this survey. and then i would tag myself and say "you're it!" before i beamed back into the future. that would be great.
31. What are you wearing right now?
the question is what am i NOT wearing right now...
and the answer is socks.
32. Righty or lefty:
depends on the mood
33. Can you make a dollar in change right now:
i live for change
34. Best place to go for a date:
to pleasuretown, population you and me. and maybe my dog. he's a watcher. it's kind of weird, but i live with it.
35. Favorite jeans:
whatever is new and in season at the goodwill boutique
37. Favorite animal:
unicorns. because they kick ass.
38. Favorite month:
december, because it has my birthday, christmas, and new year's eve. but it also is the peak month for seasonal depression and the month with the most suicides, so it's kind of a toss up.
39. Favorite juice:
40. Have you had the chicken pox?:
yea, but i told everyone in my class it was smallpox and that i was going to die. second graders sure do believe whatever the hell you tell them, seriously.
41. Have you had a sore throat?:
no, i am that rare 1-in-a-billion person who has never ever even come close to what one would consider a sore throat
42. Have you had plastic surgery?:
yes, but i don't think it looks any bigger.
43. Who knows you the best?:
that would be me. or joe. and you don't know joe.
45. Do you get along with your family?:
i think i do. they think differently, though.
44. Do you wear contact lenses or glasses?:
glasses occasionally. mostly when i can't see.
46. Ever been in a fight with your pet?:
i prefer to call them disagreements, thank you.
47. Been to Mexico?:
no habla espanol
49. Did you buy something today?:
50. Did you get sick today?:
nope, because i bought something today.
52. Do you miss someone today?:
the man i used to be
53. Did you get in a fight with someone today?:
54. Did you have sex today?
55. Last person to sleep in your bed?:
unfortunately no. oops, i mean me.
56. Last person to see you cry?
i usually save my best dramatics for large groups
57. Who made you cry?
you did. asshole.
58. What was the last TV show you watched?:
mythbusters. i am a fucking dork.
60. What are your plans for the weekend?:
hopefully not getting arrested. but fail that, not crying this time.
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